Posted by Peaches on September 08, 2003 at 00:16:04:
In Reply to: love and lust posted by oya on September 07, 2003 at 21:29:29:
I absolutely agree with Oya on this one. Coming from someone who just found out that their lover has been cheating, I know first hand about the pain of being betrayed. If you do really care for her, but may be feeling someone else, spare her feelings and be woman enough to tell her that. There's no point in leading her on because she's gonna be hurt even more once she finds out you're secretly wanting to be with someone else. You do seem to have a bit of respect for her because you did tell her the truth. But you have to take it one step further and really evaluate whether or not she's worth losing over a mere two day fling.
: the main problem that you have outlined here is that you don't seem to be grounded. if you love your girl then why sleep with another. and even after the "mistake" you still think of this other woman and like to discuss with her what the two of you did. i think its simple you have to decide what it is you want to do. women are special. they sense when things are not right, they know when someone is not being faithful either mentally or physically. you have to make up your mind what it is you want to do. your girl can feel all your uncertainties. don't look for a reason to leave her, be honest if you want to be free where you can see other women then do it, if not then make a whole committment. thinking in a lot of cases is like doing. it upsets are being, throws are auras off track, and women see right through this. by all means be true to yourself and thereby making everyone else happy. please dont look at this as a judgement call. you asked for advise, Oya